Fire and Ice
by Starry Eyed Dreamer
Summary: Harry's been acting strange lately -- not just lately, but for the past few years. Hermione can't stand it and leaves, she just takes a break. Later though, she misses Harry and with Ginny's help, tries to fix her broken fantasy.


Fire and Ice  
  
Starry Eyed Dreamer  
  
"I'm sick and tired of this life, Harry. I can't live like this anymore. It's draining me - every way that it possibly can - and I can't do it." With that final remark, Hermione turned on her heel, slammed the door, and left.   
  
It had been five years after their graduation from Hogwarts and she felt trapped on a one-way dead-end alley filled with shadows and secrets darker than the ones in Knockturn Alley. She shouldn't have shadows and secrets with Harry - she shouldn't have shadows and secrets like that period! Harry wasn't doing anything with his life; he had no goals and a future didn't seem promising. Still, Hermione was determined to make the relationship work; she tried everything. She looked up jobs with the Ministry and contacted their peers at Hogwarts for favors. Nothing. Harry was just ... uninterested. Uninterested in what life had to offer, and recently, uninterested in her.  
  
So Hermione was tired of dealing with it, and she left. She planned nothing beforehand, the leaving was determined by the moment. Her only possessions were the clothes she wore and the little in her pocket. As dedicated as Hermione had been to Harry, she now put all that effort into her new predicament.  
  
First of all, she needed somewhere to stay.  
  
Ginny took care of that problem quite well. Hermione recounted her story, and Ginny took to the problem like a sister. The flat was now her official sanctuary, her new predicament a salvation, and Ginny her savior.  
  
Draco stopped by every so often, and Ginny forced him not to say a word. Hermione was surprised; Ginny seemed to have him effectively whipped in everything but a ring. Sure she couldn't forget Hogwarts, but he was so sweet to her... it started floating to the back of her mind. He made her so happy... Like Harry made her happy...  
  
Hermione shook such thoughts from her mind. Like Harry made her happy. Made. As in past tense...  
  
Ginny and Hermione sat down to a good sister-to-sister talk complete with Weasley homemade fudge and milk.  
  
"So what exactly did Harry do?"  
  
"It's not what he did, it's more of what he didn't do. He has no future Ginny. I've pushed, found him jobs, but he somehow managed to lose them all. I just feel like I've given him so many chances, so many times to redeem himself. And he hasn't put forth any effort. The only thing I could do was leave."  
  
"And now you've left. So what are you going to do?"  
  
Hermione looked down and half-whispered, "I don't know." Her face lit with a knowing smirk. "Onto a happier subject... So... What about you and Draco?"  
  
Ginny suddenly acquired a strange half-smile. Dreamy, yet realistic. "What about us?"  
  
"Oh. It's an us now, is it?" Hermione threw her a patronizing look and Ginny started recounting. "It's not like we're committed to anything. He just drops by every so often. Sometimes he brings dinner or dessert, sometimes we cook together. It isn't regular and predictable."  
  
"But is it permanent?"  
  
Ginny sighed resignedly. "I don't know, and if answering that question drives him away, I'd rather not have it answered."  
  
Hermione abruptly hugged Ginny. "You really like him... don't you?"  
  
Ginny nodded. "He's not like Harry or Seamus, Brian or Walt, those college boys... He's different and I like it. It's not really a bad different, it's more like fire and ice... do you understand?"  
  
"Yes... it started out like that with Harry... our passion was a furnace flame, growing ever hotter, and then slow and burning, calmly, like a glow from Lumos. But then... it was like I had possession of his life; it lay in my hands, and I saw him fade before me. He lost focus... and I couldn't do anything about it. I tried... but it was hopeless."  
  
They dropped the subject and talked for a while more about how their peers were coping post-Hogwarts and fell asleep content.  
  
At 4:26 AM, the phone rang. Ginny rolled over, fully intending to let the answering machine pick it up. But it was Harry, inquiring about Hermione. "Ginny? Hello? This is Harry. Has Hermione called you? Is she there?"  
  
Ginny picked it up, and after a signal from Hermione told Harry she hadn't heard from her.  
  
"If you do get contacted, tell me." Then, after a slight pause, a moment's hesitation, and an altogether different tone, "I'm worried Ginny. Please call me."  
  
Ginny reassured him that surely, she would call him back. Relieved, Harry hung up. Ginny just looked at Hermione.  
  
"What am I going to do?" Hermione wrung her hands in defeat. "If I go back, he'll be focused for a while, maybe even a long while, but then he'll revert back to his old self."  
  
"Do you know what triggered it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"A death? A friend? No? Then why don't you find out?"  
  
Hermione stopped and responded, "Okay. Will you help me Ginny?"  
  
Ginny, caught between two friends, had no choice but to say, "Of course... after some sleep." And again, they fell asleep.  
  
Harry, however was busy. He had already called everyone whom he recalled at Hogwarts. He called Hermione's college friends, and no one hand even glimpsed a wisp of her bushy hair. Unless someone was lying to him. Which, knowing Hermione, she could have easily convinced them to.  
  
What exactly went wrong? Everything was the same as before. He hadn't changed. Unless – unless he wasn't as skillful as he thought in hiding "it."  
  
But he couldn't tell her. Knowing Hermione – he couldn't tell her he already had a job. A job in the Ministry, he didn't need her help at all. Not that her efforts were unappreciated, but he already worked in the Department of Unspeakables.  
  
She might have noticed... but he couldn't tell her what he's seen, what he's done for his job. Harry tried to keep her sister. Harry tried to keep their lives sane. Telling her stories about some of the nastier the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse wasn't his idea of a perfect life. But now, he wondered, was it worth losing Hermione?  
  
The next morning Harry was dead tired, and while he was sleeping, Ginny and Hermione planned to be on a mission. They called around a bit, and Hermione recalled that Harry's "moods," as she referred to them, happened soon after he was contacted; either by pager, cell phone, or nondescript white envelope. It was always the same, just a short contact, and Harry would burn the envelopes soon after. They were spaced months in-between, so Hermione soon forgot each incident as the next one rolled around. Hermione now noticed it, after she looked at the big picture.  
  
They were planning to stalk Harry.  
  
He didn't leave the apartment until well in the afternoon, and his eyes were bleary and red.  
  
Placing their sunglasses over their eyes, Ginny and Hermione kept a good following distance. By evening, they learned that his routine of going to the Post Office (he had a P.O. Box or something), washed his clothes, and was currently shopping for some food. In the middle of the supermarket, Harry received a mysterious phone call, and he quickly paid for his items and left, but not without glancing back every few steps.  
  
Exchanging glances, Ginny and Hermione followed him to the Ministry. There he let himself in with a key and, by following the path of lights, it was clear that Harry visited some inner room.  
The next day, Ginny went to work at the Ministry. (Ginny had been working there since even before she left Hogwarts. A summer desk job there, a filing clerk here...) She was assailed by many about Hermione, but gave them all the same answer. She had no idea where Hermione was.  
  
It was true; Ginny no longer knew where Hermione was, she just knew she was watching her. Hermione directed her through a magically-enhanced ear plug. "Left here, right there. Okay. The lights stopped around there."  
  
Ginny took a look at her surroundings. There were broom closets everywhere, but she doubted that was why Harry entered the Ministry so late at night. Besides... how did he get the key in the first place? Curiously, she tried the knob of the closet door, and it opened to reveal another door down a long corridor. A voice behind her asked about her business with the Department of Unspeakables.  
  
Ginny replied, "I wanted to have a list of members for my father."  
  
"Arthur should already have a list, I'll check if I sent the updated one. I'll owl him another in the morning. Although you look like Ginny Weasley, those Polyjuice Potions are getting more and more refined and less detectable, even by our scanners. The Minister should know better than asking for a messenger. Tell him he will receive it soon." The worker started to walk off, and then added, "We will also be relocating in this building. Remind him of that." With that, the worker stopped and looked pointedly at Ginny.  
  
Ginny nodded and left quickly. The Department of Unspeakables? Harry?  
  
As soon as Hermione and Ginny put two and two together, they came to the conclusion that Harry worked for the Department. Hermione flung open the door, ready to throw herself in his arms and apologize - but Harry had beaten her to it.  
  
He stood there in robes of forest green, holding a bouquet of cream roses tinged pink that were charmed to say "Forgive me," and "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Hermione. I couldn't talk about the things I did, what I saw. But I regret it now. Do you forgive me?  
  
Hermione, tears watering her eyes, nodded yes and was swept into her arms.  
  
Their kiss tasted of fire and ice.  
  
Fire - from their passion long built and long saved, from the reminder of what they could have both lost forever. Ice - from the promises of a slow and steady eternity because of that one moment of forgiveness, now frozen in time. 


End file.
